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Monday, May 27, 2013

Going Natural and Hating Every Bit of it

I had a friend who always thought she couldn’t go natural.  She thought her hair wouldn’t curl like mine or be completely unmanageable.  I told her “you don’t know that cause you haven’t seen your natural hair in years”.  She was addicted to the creamy crack because she was exposed to it at a young age as many of us were.  She thought that’s all that she could do to her hair.  I think she had some insecurities within herself that she questioned it as she didn’t think she had the face for it.  When you’re born with natural hair, how could you not have the face for it.  If you believe in God, how could he be wrong.  All her responds just seemed as excuses to me.  She was conditioned to believe natural hair was unattractive.  Yet, she remembers how long her natural hair was before she started relaxing her hair.

My advice to her was to not rush into going natural.  I transitioned for a while by blending the two textures of my hair with my trusted bantu knot out, buns, and cornrows.  I too was afraid of how short my hair was going to be.  When you’re used to your hair being a particular length, the shrinkage can be a shock to you.  Of course, she had her mind made up and nobody could change it.  After all, going natural is an exciting experience to embark upon.  You’re starting fresh.  Her impatience lead her to doing the big chop at a hair salon in the city.  It was a bold move, but she did it.  The beautician styled her natural hair before she left.  When she told me about it, I was a bit wary of her choice cause I didn’t think she was ready.  She was excited and she did experiment with her hair.  She even posted pictures up on FaceBook and it was cute.

At times, she didn’t want to leave her house cause her natural hair wasn’t done the way she wanted to.  She didn’t learn enough on how to style her natural hair quickly at that point.  Going natural is not something you can just jump into.  I think she went into being natural expecting it to be easy and it wasn’t.  Just because it appears easy for someone else, doesn’t mean it will be for you.  You have to take the time to learn your hair.  When you haven’t dealt with caring for her natural hair until later on in you life, you go into it clueless.  She had a lot to learn, but she didn’t give it enough time.  She gave up months later as she missed her hair appearing longer.  Shrinkage got the best of her.

If going natural isn’t a great experience for you, make sure you take something back from it.  She went back to relaxing her hair, but what she learned should stick with her forever.  She became more aware of applying too much heat to her hair and the damage it caused.  She even styled her hair in such a way that I thought she was a natural again.  It was a heatless updo that she tried out.  The hairstyle was cute and something I don’t think she would have tried before.  She looked fierce.

Although, I think being natural is amazing for me.  It’s not for everyone.  I admire the effort she took going natural.  Maybe one day, she’ll go back to being natural when she’s more educated about the hairstyles she can try out.

Have any of you or a friend went natural and hated it?  Share your stories in the comments section below.

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